Updated: 11/04/17 : 07:34:34
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Sligo statues' deputation hopes to meet Ross

By Eugene McGloin

SLIGO STATUES finished an all-night meeting early today, Tuesday.

Rumours had swept the town yesterday that the 2017 Grand National team, including horse, might now get a statue in their honour.

The emergency meeting was called by Bartholomew Teeling, a horseman and veteran of 1798. 

He wanted assurances no other statue in Sligo would include a horse; ''its already overcrowded, we'd have a crisis housing any new statue.''

Lady Erin of Market Cross expressed concern she might be asked to vacate the plinth she has occupied for the past century.

''What happens,'' she said, ''if they want to point this horse, or even the horses bum, back at Paddy Power's shop? Will I be left out on the road?''

Further Uproar

The earlier part of the meeting saw scuffles when Mr Tagore from Wine Street and Mr Yeats from outside the Ulster Bank both tried to speak.

Yeats was called ''a Blueshirt'' and Tagore ''a blow-in'' but presiding chair, PA McHugh of Quay Street, ordered that these remarks not be included in Minutes. 

There was further uproar when Mr Teeling said he would look for ''an army council'' delegates meeting if any new horse statue appeared in a Sligo street.

''The pikes are only in the thatch and if we rebels are roused then so be it, said Mr Teeling.

He hinted that he has already spoken with an international arms dealer about a possible trip to Sligo.

The Garda Pulse system has, it is reliably learned from whistleblowers, logged this foreign arms dealer as an Italian, Mr Venus de Milo. 

A Motion before last night's meeting also decided to send a deputation to the Dáil seeking support.

No specific Minister was targeted in the Motion but a unanimous amendment said he or she must be a statue.

''How will we know if it's a genuine statue,'' delegate Bernardo O'Higgins from Strephen Street asked.

''If it doesn't move and hasn't been known to move any time recently, then it's a statue,'' he heard. 

''Oh, so were meeting Mister Ross,'' delegates happily agreed before adjourning for refreshments.

Warned chairman McHugh: ''Refreshments only, ladies and gentlemen, it wouldn't look good at all to Sligo townsfolk if ye were all to get plastered, again.''