Updated: 26/06/17 : 13:17:12Printable Version
By Declan Foley, Australia
The Irish Times esteemed correspondent
Fintan O'Toole totally misunderstood why Garda Commissioner O'Sullivan
was before the PAC last week.
O'Sullivan has been undertaking a Doctorate in "Shovel Usage in Hole
Digging", in the Wyssn language it means "I know where the bodies are
buried, but I am saying nothing". In Mangliesh it comes a cross as "You
mind your own business and I will mind mine". In Joycean terms it more
than likely means "UFO" as in 'go away'.
becoming Commissioner Ms O'Sullivan has attended night classes under
the tutelage of Professor Malachi O'Mulligan and Professor Myles na Gopaleen of the infamous School for Scandal, endowed by the legacy of the late Richard Brindsley Sheridan.
Doctorate includes study of the nighttime passages of Joyce's "Ulysses"
and "Finnegans Wake" as well as Australian Aboriginal "Dreamtime"
symbols. For example using the Aboriginal triangle symbol: 1. Human
World (bottom left) 2. Physical World (top of apex) 3. Sacred World
(bottom right) she informed the PAC ( the examining committee for her
Doctorate) the triangle should read: 1. Irish people (bottom left) 2. An
Garda Siochana (top of apex) 3. President, Taoiseach, Cabinet, Dail and
Senate (bottom right). Strange as it may seem "An Garda Siochana" in
the Aboriginal language translates into the word "Weshitonu".
Doctorate has been hard earned - unlike Mr O'Toole's innumerable
Honorary Doctorate's which were foisted upon him - and her attendance at
the PAC was in fact the required compulsory interview for a Ph. D
candidate. As her actual studies were a State Secret until now, the
interview was held under the guise of T.D s' asking questions about the
operation of an Garda Siochana, including how to unearth money
laundering etc. (After all if you do not study money laundering, how on
earth can you prosecute it?)
was one serious question omitted from the interview, whether by
accident or design is a moot point at this stage. This was to be asked
by Deputy Mac Conchruachain (The hound of Croghan), who alas, was ill on
the day. The question was "When does a Garda Commissioner and her
shovel become one and the same?". The expected answer was "The deeper I
dig myself into a hole".