Updated: 25/11/17 : 06:47:59
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Regina begs, Ringo rules, Rip Van Winkles stir

By Eugene McGloin
Political Editor

IVAN YATES had an interesting slot on his Newstalk evening radio show yesterday, Friday.

How to get the very best out of motivational speakers, group scenarios included.

The guest teed up a perfect example for Yates and his native County Wexford.

Star Spiel

He recalled how Liam Griffin goaded the Yellow Bellies of Wexford to a senior hurling All Ireland title 21 years ago.

Half an hour earlier Michael Ring, Ringo himself, did a star spiel over on RTÉ’s Drivetime slot.

Ringo ticked all the boxes: Both a motivated and motivational speaker. 

There were bits of blood ‘n’ thunder, spoken with passion and nothing left in the dressing room. Ringo gave us a la carte, a taste of the whole menu. 

The style is that it should all — blood, thunder, passion — all be spilled out in the theatre of war, wherever that may be, whenever.

Right now, ‘war’ is confined to mere words but before Santa’s sleigh comes there could be blood on the tracks in Election 2017.

An hour before Ringo’s resounding endorsement of his Cabinet colleague Frances Fitzgerald we had a more laid-back intervention in the same debate.

Enter stage left into the theatre of war the Rip Van Winkle wing of the same current Cabinet, alias Shane with a few amigos.

Seats Scrap

Day four of Frances Fitzgerald’s crisis and the Van Winkles do their bit. 

Confirmation, if needed, that this is a full blown crisis. Park the cranberry sauce on hold. 

Whereas Ringo would earn 10/10 for his rousing recitation, the Van Winkles scored zzzzzz; back to sleep.

Except they/we cannot now return to slumberland, the Van Winkles might have to shortly scrap for their few seats.

The fight of the century could star Finian, Boxer, Shane, Seán etc.

The “election nobody wants” seems to be animating a lot of excited howls in high places. Santa, bring me a comfy seat.

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Daddy Cool

Then on the teatime RTÉ News yesterday we got Ringmeister Cool Himself, almost giving us almost the time and hour of the general election if we didn’t do it His Way.

All we needed was an RTÉ archive reprise of Gerry Collins alongside Regina, Ringo, the Rip Van Winkles and Ringmeister Cool Himself.

Remember a previous Fianna Fáil vote of confidence 25 years ago, Albert Reynolds had enough of Charles Haughey.

Burst Up

Gerry Collins went on teatime TV: ‘’Oh Albert, Albert, you’ll burst up the party. I plead with you ‘don’t do it.’” 

Father Ted and Tommy Tiernan are in the hapenny place against Gerry when we look at the great Irish comedy moments of our lifetime.

We got a low-fi version of Gerry on radio earlier yesterday morning.

Regina Doherty used the word “beg” as she asked that 2017 “Confidence” Motion be deferred by Fianna Fáil.

Same way we begged her to pay pensioners their five euro increase from January 2018 and not some date many months distant. Same result, too. 

Real Answers

Still, this week we got some real meaty answers to some of our real questions.

Such as the senior Garda officer cooly stating plainly that no, Stepaside would not be front of his list for planned reopening of closed-up barracks.

He had better places for (new) resources and then showed that he had thought it through already.

That was evident from his firm naming of where the resources should go.

Surprisingly, the Rip Van Winkles have said so little so far on the, eh, Stepaside vote of no confidence.

They should ask Ringo to give them all a half-time pep talk.....except that it may very soon be full time — time up — for Stepaside’s status. 

Link: See Sligo Today 24/11/2017.